How do I cope with sexual abuse at home from one of my family members, who do I Tell?

Summery answer

  • Speak to your parents/ guardian right away
  • Talk to someone, counsellor, psychologist, police
  • Jesus Is the answer, change your mindset to set yourself free
  • You are not alone even if you feel like you are
  • You are not defined by your past You are still beautiful, valuable and lovable

Speak to your parents right away

Abuse at home is hard and even harder coming from the people who are supposed to be protecting you. In most cases when people suffer abuse at the hands of a family member they keep quiet and never say anything. However, it is important to note, you should never keep quiet when someone sexually abuses you. In most cases young people will keep quiet because of feelings of guilt and embarrassment. If it is a known family member/ family friend most young people will find it hard to say anything because of the pre-existing relationship, they feel like they are ruining family bonds and relationships, betraying or getting the abuser in trouble, if they reported him/her. However it is important to tell your parents/ guardian when something like this happens because this can happen to more of your siblings and/ or someone else, furthermore if it goes unresolved it will result in a lot more psychological, relational and emotional problems for you in the future.

Report to the police, speak to a counsellor/ psychologist

On the off chance that you do not have anyone to talk to, try and seek the help of a counsellor, psychologist or police. If you cannot talk to anymore close to you contact the police, online, phone call or in person. One of the hardest things for a victim to do is to talk about that specific experience, however, as hard as it is to do, it is crucial and important to talk about it and deal with it instead of sweeping it under the rug. The psychologist and/ or the counsellor are there to help you deal with the psychological, emotional and mental side of things. The police will act to ensure that this will not happen to you or anyone else again. The police station is also a place you can go for a safe and secure disclosure, police are very supportive in cases like these despite popular belief to the contrary. The police are usually trained and prepared for such situations and will take appropriate steps with the art most discretion, depending what you want.

Jesus is the answer

Jesus is the answer because when one suffers sexual abuse the hurt goes beyond physical, emotional and psychological. While physical, emotional and psychological damages are done to you perhaps the most hidden and least addressed is the spiritual damage done when someone forces themselves on you. While sexual abuse is a physical entanglement, it also presents crippling spiritual entanglements. Hence, most victims keep quiet and do not have the strength to come out after such a traumatic experiences. Jesus is the answer in this case because he breaks every single spiritual bondage caused by the abuse, he releases you from the spiritual burden and spiritual hurt which you might not be aware of. Jesus will give you the strength that you need to face this issue spiritually. If anything, with Jesus you do not face any of this alone. However, to fully understand this is to be transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12:2. You cannot overcome trauma without first overcoming it in your mind. Any physical hurdle we defeat in life is first defeated in our mind. So take up the full armour of God as described in Ephesians 6 10-18.

Don’t be afraid to act, you are not alone

Ever wondered why it takes years for most sexual assault victims to gather the guts to come out and tell the world what happened to them. It is partly because on the other side of abuse is a lonely and harsh secretive world, most victims of sexual abuse often think that they are the only ones who suffered harm at the hands of the perpetrator, hence, they never say anything. Victims suffer from feelings of shame and embarrassment. It is not until someone else come out that a string of people start putting their hands up and identifying that person as a sexual predator.

One of the lies that result from sexual abuse is the belief that you are alone, secluded and it’s useless to say anything. Never feel as though you are alone because you will always have support out there as shown in the examples above. Most of all God loves you so much and he has given you the power and strength to rise up from this, so take hold of courage, strength and hope and fight for your future by speaking out against sexual abuse and reporting it regardless of who the perpetrator is.

You are still beautiful

Always remember that you are not defined by this experience nor is your future going to be dictated by this experience. Your worth is defined by God not by people or experiences. You have to choose to move on from a toxic and crippling mindset which wants you to be forever a prisoner of sexual abuse. You are loved by God and you deserve to be loved. You are not dirty, defiled or impure, you are still as pure as the day you were born but remember, even though, it’s the truth, your battle starts with the mind. You have to fight to defend your future from a crippling mindset which seeks to steel your hope. You are worthy of love and nothing and no one can take that away from you. So rise up be strong and fight for your future, always hope and always love.









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