Q: Is masturbation a sin? What if I don’t watch pornography while masturbating? I get an erection and I masturbate right away.

Before addressing the question of whether masturbation is a sin or not, it is vital to point out the fact that sin is synonymous with what it means to be human. Furthermore, as humans we are inherently sinful. No one is sinless and no one will ever be sinless here on earth. In saying that, from the onset it is important to be truthful and establish the fact that masturbation is an unsaid commonly practiced and hidden part of most young people’s lives. As most young men and young women reach puberty and discover they have sexual urges, they masturbate often aided by easily available sexual material normalised in this present culture. However, despite being widely practiced masturbation remains a taboo in most households and cultures, various young people have questions about masturbation but no one to talk to because of the sensitive nature of the subject.

 God’s original design

Right from the beginning it is important to note that God loves us regardless of whether we masturbate or not because He loves people. The best way to find out how to answer both questions is looking at God’s original design of sex and marriage. Originally any form of sex is supposed to be saved for the marriage bed, masturbation is a sexual act which acts as a substitute to God’s original design (consensual marriage sex). The question to ask your self is; is masturbation God’s original plan when it comes to sex? If your can honestly answer ‘yes’ without a shred of conviction this answer might change your perspective. If the answer is ‘no’ one might ask; why then do we have sexual urges before we are married? The short answer is sexual feelings are part of what it is to be human. Furthermore, abstaining from masturbation helps to develop valuable principles like self-control, faithfulness and purity. Self- control is an eternal principle which helps instill values of faithfulness in marriage. Self-control stops you from cheating on your spouse, leaving your spouse because you require a new sexual partner, among other things. Abstaining from masturbation is hard and not easy but not impossible, that is how you develop self-control and restraint by not giving into your natural urges or desires. So whether you watch porn or not while you masturbate the real question is; is it God’s original plan and design ?

  God understands what you are going through

Central to the issue of masturbation is understanding God’s take on the issue when it comes to his children. God never specifically spoke about masturbation but he did speak about his character and his nature. We can then use God’s Character and nature to understand how God views his children in relation to masturbation. God sees our hearts and the struggles we go through. God sees our constant battle between living pure and whole and living with masturbation or porn. Even when our sexual thoughts, actions and intentions are impure and pornographic, God understands the fact that we are humans and not perfect. As Christians we automatically think that God is going to smite us down if and when we watch porn and/ or masturbate. It’s interesting how we put God’s first response as that of anger, condemnation and judgement.

Never forget that God is a patient God, a righteous God, a loving God and loves us more than our own capacity to love. If you one day have a son/ daughter and you caught them watching hardcore porn at 7 or 8 years old and after talking to them you discover a massive addiction to pornography and masturbation, do you get angry or heartbroken? Every parent would get heart broken and feelings of anger would be so far from a parent’s heart. If us as imperfect human beings have such patience and empathy towards our children, what more patience and understanding does our Father in heaven have for us. God understands and empathises with the struggles of the modern day youth. Young people are battling with an oversupply of porn and sexual content, pressure and the constant demand for young people to have sex. Always remember that God sees the struggle that you are going through to quit masturbation, the effort you are putting in. Cry out to Jesus for help and he will surely come to your aid and show you how amazing your sexual life can be when you do it his way. Free from guilt, shame, condemnation and secrets in the dark.

Natural/unintentional

Masturbation is when you sexually please yourself to the point of ejaculation, the interesting part is that your body does this process naturally by itself. When you reach puberty and start developing sexual urges you produce sperm and semen, your body can not keep it forever, hence, your body gets rid of it via wet dreams or nocturnal emissions. Wet dreams are dreams that are sexual in nature and feel so real such that you ejaculate. Though ejaculation is involved wet dreams are an unintentional unconscious effort from the individual while asleep. There is nothing to feel sad and ashamed about wet dreams because regardless of what we think about them they are a completely natural process of being human. It is important to note that sex drive, sexual appetite and sexual desires are all good gifts from God and have a special part to play on the marriage bed.

Reasons behind why people Masturbate

The other way of getting rid of sexual tension is what is asked in the question above and the method most people use is masturbation. This usually happens when someone cannot bear the weight of constantly thinking about sex and hence decide to literally take matters into their own hands. For some people masturbation provides an avenue for them not to think about sex or porn hence they prefer to use masturbation as a tool of seeking relief, picking a lesser of 2 evils. Then others masturbate purely for pleasure. Whether masturbation is for relief or pleasure the effects are the same, both processes provide dopamine (pleasure chemical in the body). Both eventually cause you to look for a stronger stimulant to get aroused, all of a sudden masturbation alone just doesn’t do it for you. This is when people start using pornography and regress from there into more hard core porn. The result is an addiction to pornography, devaluing women and feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Questions to ask yourself if you are in this stage are; what parts do eternal principles like restraint, self-discipline, boundaries and self-control play in your life when it comes to masturbation ?

In conclusion it is fine and very normal if someone has a very strong sex drive. Most young people pray for God to take away their sex drive but that’s unwise. It’s like asking God to take your voice away because you lie from time to time. In most cases you need to keep on top of your thoughts and control your environment. There is no use in wanting to keep dry when you purposefully stand in the rain. You might want to keep dry all you want but if you go into the rain you will get wet. Similar with masturbation and porn, watch the company you keep, the things you watch the thoughts you entertain because they in turn influence your sexual appetite.

Important Contacts For Support In Australia

Kids Help Line 1800 551800 Toll-free number Web: http://www.kidshelpline.com.au

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